Certified Radioactive Personality Tee
This shirt is for people who walk into a room and immediately raise the temperature. You are not dramatic, intense, or dangerous. You are just mildly radioactive and science has warned everyone nearby. Wear this when your sarcasm levels are lethal, your energy is unstable, and you want strangers to understand the risk before engaging. Side effects may include nervous laughter, sudden respect, and people keeping a safe distance. Honestly, it is public service apparel.